


There Is No Arizona

by Tezca



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Antichrist Adam Young (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley are evil, BAMF Anathema, BAMF Beezlebub, BAMF Gabriel, Battle, Evil Crowley, Gen, Ineffable Evil, M/M, Other, alternative universe, battle related violence, can be read as platonic Anathema and Beezlebub or subtle Anathema/Beezlebub, evil Adam Young (Good Omens), evil Aziraphale, immortal Anathema, mention of deaths, off screen deaths, religious dystopia, reverse au, subtle Aziraphale/Crowley, subtle Gabriel/Anathema
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-01 22:33:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20529515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezca/pseuds/Tezca
Summary: 11 years prior to Armageddon Crowley kidnapped the Antichrist. The day of, reality was changed and now Crowley, Aziraphale and ruled Heaven, Hell and Earth.Hundred years after Gabriel, Anathema and Beezlebub fight to take them down.





	1. Chapter 1

6000 years they’ve secretly been plotting.

6000 years they didn’t know. They, of course, being anyone who wasn’t Aziraphale, Crowley and the Antichrist himself.

And it all hit the metaphorical fan one unassuming day. All was revealed, true colors were shows. Aziraphale and Crowley weren’t the benevolent, supernatural beings as everyone that met them were lead to believe. They didn’t love humanity in a ‘We must protect the lives of all those on Earth at all costs way’.

No, it was more ‘We love to rule Earth and all of humanity for all eternity’ way. Like they were some cliche villain in a children’s movie. Unfortunately this was anything but.

And it wasn’t just Earth that they desired to take over. They wanted both Heaven and Hell as well. They wanted everyone ensnared under their finger. Everyone was to praise them without question. To question the newfound reality was to incur their wrath. Nobody wanted to be snapped or smote out of existence.

Basically they wanted to _be_ God. Or a trio of Gods rather. Omniscient and all powerful. Have thousands upon thousands of worshipers praising their every Word.

“_Would that be lovely?”_ Aziraphale had remarked with a truly vicious grin.

As Crowley monologue on that fateful day at the airbase, Adam was the final piece to their scheme. Crowley had kidnapped him so one day reality would be shaped with malicious intent.

Funny how the two traitors championed around the concept of free will and how everyone should have a choice beyond their day to day activities. It was all a hideous facade and the curtain was pulled out too late. Anything to better their lives, to entertain, to make sure things run smoothly was now mandated by _them_.

Now it was a century after the Apocalyptic event. Anathema long ago discovered an ancient spell that granted the user immortality. A century of practice and sparring festered by resentment, and betrayal had led them to this moment. A high stakes battle to right what went horribly wrong. Now she, Gabriel and Beezlebub found themselves back at the same airbase where this all started.

How ironically fitting.

Three circles on one side of the airbase. Designed to contain and neutralize any divine or demonic powers. From there the plan would be to strip them of their powers. Render them completely mortal. Right now, understandably, they were just focused on getting the three into the circles in the first place. They’ll figure out what’s the best way to go from there.

“Alright. Anathema make them invisible,” Gabriel looked at her and she gave a nod. They had just finished the circle in the middle. Meant to capture Adam with a mixture of demonic and pagan based sigils.

Anathema held out her hands and closed her eyes. She uttered a spell and the air simmered around all three in no time. She let out a bit of an anxious breath a second after, “I’m admittedly a little nervous.”

“We all are,” Gabriel assured her. To the casual observer one might’ve thought otherwise hadn’t they not confessed. Only a little bit of their voice gave it away. Neither of them don’t know how this is going to play out. Either they’ll be successful, or utterly destroyed.

“I’m confident we’ll beat them,” Beezlebub added, stoic even as they faced the other two, “Gabriel you’re up.”

Gabriel took a steady breath as he manifest his horn. His trusty horn that he always had since he was created. He was supposed to sound it off for Judgment Day but that obviously didn’t happen. However, attracting attention was a good as any for a use. He turned around and walked into the open area a few paces in. He looked up at the sky, taking another moment to steady any lingering nerves.

The archangel lifted the horn to his lips, took a big breath and blew into it. A loud deep sound boomed over the nearby vicinity. Gabriel proceeded to cup one hand around his mouth and yell as loud as he can, “Hey! Are you there oh His Most Holiness Lord Aziraphale?! It’s the Archangel _fucking_ Gabriel! And I _dare _you and your little demon buddy to come down right now and _smite_ us!” He provoked with a loud booming voice, “If you can’t tell already, we survived!”

If there were any expectations about this really, this was it. The name reveal. Ever since they all faked their deaths after a failed revolution several decades ago, they’ve taken on an alias. Lived under the radar. Thank Someone they weren’t discovered in the meantime.

“We’ve come to take revenge for all those you dezzztroyed!” Beezlebub added with an equally loud voice. Thanks to Aziraphale and Crowley, they and Gabriel were the only ones that hadn’t been brainwashed into being their little monkeys, “Come and fight us you cowardzzzz!”

Another round of the horn before Gabriel snapped it away. The air quickly filled with heavy tension. The hair stood on the back of their necks. The atmosphere was eerily quiet, a sense of foreboding washed over the area. The calm before the storm. Gabriel and Beezlebub unfurled their wings while Anathema conjured up a sphere of magical energy around her hands.

A few seconds passed, nothing happened. Anathema took the chance to throw in a taunt of her own, “You know Agnes prophesied this!” She shouted towards the clouds. It was a complete lie but they didn’t need to know that. In another time and place, there would’ve been a second set of prophecies sent to her, “We’re destined to defeat you!”

Suddenly a flash of light came down from the skies. Three sets of localized lightning right in front of Gabriel, Anathema and Beelzbub. The latter group momentarily had to cover their eyes but there they were. Three vs three. Only noticeable difference was Adam now was the same height as Crowley.

(To be more pedantic, Gabriel looked different too. A mildly thick beard stubble did wonders to one’s appearance.)

“This is most ever so rude. We were having crepes when you called us!” Aziraphale spoke, clearly aggravated. His voice was sharp as he glared daggers towards Gabriel.

“Oh well apologies. Excuse us for interrupting your very, very, busy schedule,” Gabriel bit back with dripping sarcasm. All three pairs of wings stretched out behind him to a defense stance.

“So you’re all alive huh?” Crowley glanced over all three before him, “Clever I admit, didn’t see this coming. How did we miss this?” The last question was directed more at Aziraphale and Adam as he did a quick glance over at the two.

“Doesn’t matter my dear,” Aziraphale replied with an icy calm voice. He never took his gaze off of Gabriel, “We shall have to get this over with. I tend to get tetchy if my food and tea grows too cold,” He moved his hand up as a flaming sword materialized in his hand. His eyes grew murderous.

“It’s a pity really. Such a pity we’ll have to destroy you lot!” Crowley disapproved in a sneer. He let out a dismal laugh, “You three would’ve been perfect slaves!”

“Ah yes. I would agree,” Aziraphale smugly grinned at the archangel, “I would’ve immensely enjoyed giving Gabriel orders.”

Beelzebub growled as they clutched their fists, “I will never allow myzzzelf to be a zzzubordinate to a traitor!” They yelled defiantly straight at Crowley’s face.

His face turned scornful, eyes narrowed with rage, “How dare you talk back to your God you pest!” Crowley spit out with venom. A fireball formed in one of his hands.

“You will alwayzzz be a traitor to me Crowley! Thatzzz what you are and alwayzzz will be!” They can feel the Hellfire in the back of their throat, both pairs of wings shot out into the physical plane, “We will never bow down to you idiotzzz!”

“Tsk, such a shame really. An insolent outburst like that calls for immediate extermination,” Aziraphale picked up, a cool smile on his face.

“You know, you guys are lucky I haven’t been asked to snap you out of reality just yet,” Adam mentioned, nonchalantly as if he emotionally knew nothing but indifference, “I actually requested we do battle first, be more fun that way. Been itching to put my full powers to use since the Revolution.”

“Ah right yes” Aziraphale’s face pique up as if he was just reminded of a long awaited question. He glanced at Adam before he returned to Gabriel, “Speaking of which, just how did you and your friends survive all of that?” Aziraphale inquired.

Gabriel allowed water to magically appear out of both his hands and encircle both his fists, “I’m not liable to explain Aziraphale. Besides I thought you wanted to get this over with?”

“Oh dear me, you’re right,” Aziraphale let out a slight embarrassed chuckle, “I must’ve gone off track a bit,” He turned his head towards Adam and Crowley with an eager grin, “Shall we my dear boys? Crowley you take on Beezlebub, Adam you go after Anathema and I shall go after Gabriel.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle at Tadfield Airbases starts and Beezlebub receives devastating news.

And just like that, the battle for the fate of all Heaven, Hell and Earth began. In a blink of an eye, everyone was in the air. Gabriel shot out streams of water from his hand towards Aziraphale while Anathema lobbied what she called energy chakrams at Adam.

Adam zigzagged before he counterattacked with an energy ball. Anathema quickly crossed her arms to form a shield in front of her. He took a moment to look inquisitively surprised at her.

“May I ask you a question ma’am?” For someone on the wrong side, the Antichrist was sure polite, “How are you able to fly? Last I checked, you were a human.”

“Who’s also a witch if you remember. Or occultist rather. I grew more powerful,” Anathema simply said before the two flew straight to each other, magic at the ready.

Meanwhile Beelzebub found themself already in trouble. Crowley had just unleashed an energy beam straight at their chest and knocked them down to the ground. A small crater was created. ‘That was new’ they thought as they groaned. They stumbled up onto their legs as Crowley landed in front of them. He had a knowing smirk on his face as he walked right up to Beelzebub’s face.

“Where in the Nine Circlezzz of Hell did you learn _that_!?” Beezlebub exclaimed loudly, irritated and blindsided by the new development. Though they can’t be blindsided all that much, Adam pretty much split up the powers between them from the original God herself. It was just that they hadn’t seen Crowley displayed that before.

Last they checked it was Adam who magic’d all the Rebel Angels and Demons brainwashed as they slipped off to safety. Course it was at the request of Aziraphale. The small group of witches led by Anathema fell to a similar fate.

“Oh I always knew how. Did you think we’re calling ourselves Gods without anything to back it up!?”

“No. Of course not, how denzze do you think I am?!” They took this moment to land a fist right in Crowley’s left jaw. The Demon God stumbled back but came back quick enough to retaliate with a punch of his own. He landed a hard one at their cheek. The force was enough to bring them down to one knee before they stood up.

They felt something wet trickle down their nose. Fuck, the bastard broke it. No matter, they’ll deal with any injuries afterward. Not a second can be wasted. With that, Beezlebub turned around to spit Hellfire at Crowley. Unfortunately, he suddenly teleported into thin air at the last minute.

Beelzbub didn’t get a moment to assess their next move when they felt sudden pressure around their neck. Their eyes widen as they grabbed the - now visible - arm. Crowley had them in a choke-hold. Beezlebub coughed and struggled for air. Well technically they didn’t _need_ too but the motion had caught them off guard.

He also had them in an iron grip with his other arm around their chest. It was hard to struggle against his tight hold.

“I say for a former Prince of Hell, you can be so damn _stupid_,” Crowley patronized before he chuckled arrogantly, “What makes you think you have a chance against someone like me? I’m so high ranked, you’re nothing more than the same common lowly demon you used to command!”

“Must be hard having a head azz big azz yourz.” Beelzebub quipped. They didn’t let Crowley get another word in edgewise. They swiftly moved their leg upward as hard as they could. The subsequent loud shriek and loosen grip was enough for them to jab their elbow on his stomach. The movement cause Crowley to crash down onto the ground.

They immediately took flight straight up into the clouds. They looked behind him, Crowley wasn’t following them. They turned back around and was startled as the newfound sight in front of them. Crowley had teleported right into their path. They only had a second to register what he was about to do. They could not be afforded to discorperate right now.

Thankfully they were able to snap away in time as the inferno shot out of Crowley’s mouth. They appeared behind him and took the opportunity to run their claws down deep into his skin. Blood pooled from the wounds and it resulted in yet another pained high pitched shriek from Crowley. Beezlebub took off as fast as their wings can carry them.

He turned around a second later and flew after the former Prince. His eyes were full of fire and brimstone. The rage of all the fire on Earth and in Hell contained into one very angry being. He easily caught up to them as they both torn through the clouds. Crowley started to throw multiple energy balls at them.

Beelzlebub dodged several of them before they turned around and shot fireballs at him. They kept it up until Crowley kicked up his supernatural speed and managed to tackled Beezlebub. He held them up by the neck with his left hand. His right was pulled back, claws extended.

“That was a good try, really...” Crowley’s compliment was empty but his smile was sincerely full of condescension. It took more effort than usual for Beezlebub to not let her resolve down. They will _not_ show any kind of weakness. Especially to someone like Crowley. Usually it was easy to show nothing but a brave face. A demeanor that demanded compliance and respect for their leadership, a strong will and confidence to deal with all that entails as Lord of Hell.

Course that was back then. Back when everyone knew their place and stay within the status quo. Everyone prepared for Armageddon, performed day to day temptations or work in cramped, dimly lit uncomfortable offices where there was no end to the sea of paperwork.

Shame on them and Gabriel for being complacent to the idea that Aziraphale and Crowley were just annoyances. Two nobodies best left relegated to the footnotes of Heaven and Hell’s history. They might have been given important positions back in the days of Eden, but to both Heaven and Hell, they’ve proven to be written off as those weirdos too in love with humanity.

Or so they thought. They put up the best act anyone has ever seen. Not even God herself seen it coming. Although to be fair, She tended to be more reclusive and not as attentive than someone with the title of God had a right to be. Nobody really heard from Her aside from Aziraphale early on.

Now look where that got everybody. A less than idyllic reality where all the high ranked angels and demons were stripped of their rank. A reality where the original God - and Satan - never existed. Just Aziraphale, Crowley and Adam in charge of all of Creation. Always had been, and always will be.

“...but it’s gonna take more than a superficial wound to take me down!” Crowley spat as he easily healed up the wounds on his back. Beezlebub let out a cough as they gripped his wrist. He got right up in their face with a menacing smile, “Would you care to know something I bet you and your little angel buddy don’t even know?”

Something about his voice made her subtly tremble with fear. They anticipated it would be anything but good, “Wh..what? We already know what you did 50 yearzzz ago!” Beezlebub grunted out.

Crowley’s voice changed to a light and airy timbre as if they were having a casual conversation, “Oh no. No, no, no not that. That wasn’t the only Revolution,” The tone faded away into casual smugness, his squeeze became subtly tighter around their neck, “There was a much more recent one. About 20 years ago there was another revolt. Your former Dukes of Hell and the rest of the archangels had appeared to get enough memories of the Old Reality back. Enough to grow unfaithful and bitter enough to commit treason!” Crowley hissed the last word right in their face.

Beezlebub was able to let out a soft gasp as their eyes widen. Aziraphale and Crowley had thought it would be _fun_ in the aftermath of the failed Revolution to allow the three Rebel leaders to still have their memories of a world long dead.

“Ob-obviously that failed,” Beelzebub surmised and Crowley grinned satisfactorily. They had a dreadful feeling they knew what happened next, but they pushed forward and asked anyways, “What did you guyzz do to them?!”

A good small part of her hoped that however brainwashed their right hand men were, Dagon and Hastur were at least alive. For as much as a demon understood the concept of close friendships, those two really were the only ones they deemed smart and trustworthy enough for the job. After the Fall, the Dukes of Hell were the first to be there for them. The first ones to help them through the pain and empty sensation that has came from being cast out of Heaven.

Lucifer had asked them to nominate two demons for the - then newly created - position of Duke. They told them ‘Hastur and Dagon’ without a note of hesitation.

A sinister, caustic smirk appeared, “I’m sure you can figure that out can’t you? You weren’t the ruler of Hell for nothing!”

It only took a second but it clicked. Beezlebub’s eyes shot wide open as they felt tears threatening to break loose. Their eyes narrowed at him, their sense of rage only increased. It took every ounce of her willpower to keep her voice steady, “You..._didn’t_! Please tell me you didn’t...you dezztroyed them!?”

The smirk turned into a prideful grin. There was a tone of thoughtfulness in his voice, “You know? Dagon and Hastur screamed beautifully did when doused with Holy Water. Did you know that? We even destroyed every last angel and demon to prevent another revolt.”

“Y-you _bazztard_!” Beezlebub spat out just as Crowley raked his claws down her cheek. It stung like the fiery depths of the Pit itself. Simultaneously they felt a sudden weight had been lifted from their throat and they fell through the sky. The situation was not all that too dissimilar to their Fall. Both times they hurled down to Earth at an alarmingly high speed. Both times they were in some level of pain.

Only main difference this time was the very real chance they’ll be discorporated. Frustratingly they plummeted down too fast to right themself.


	3. Chapter 3

Back down at the ground, Anathema had just manipulated pieces of the ground to thrust Adam right smack down in one of the circles. Once in contact, the circle lit up and came into view. A beam of demonic greenish light reached up endlessly into the sky, successfully enclosing him. Nothing can get in or out.

It was an interesting combat really all things considered. He was surprised she got powerful enough to control earth. It threw him off his game enough for her to take advantage and imprison him within a ring made up of rocks. Before he had time to think of a move, she turned around to deploy a sidekick to emit a psychic force straight for him. 

One down, two to go.

Anathema turned, only to see a disturbing sight. Up in the air not to far from where she stood, a figure headed towards the ground. She tensed up with great worry and panic the second she recognized them.

“Beelzebub!” She cried out and immediately took into the air. She was able to catch her in time and fly the both of them to a spot a bit off to the side. She held them close in a warm, loving embrace. They hid their face in her shoulders and Anathema felt a jolt of cool wetness on her skin. A soft sound of anguish escaped their lips.

She and Gabriel knew better to start asking questions right off the bat when Beezlebub allowed themself to shed a tear or two. Instead she gave them a soft kiss on the forehead and rubbed their back gently. She also emitted a sense of calmness over them. They felt the pain from their wound lessen to a dull.

As they together, Anathema took the brief respite to heal her own wound. She had received a few bloody scratches among the various bruises from her fight with Adam. The most prominent was one across her stomach. She silently felt relief as some of the soreness and dull aches fade away. 

When the tears stopped just enough to fully regain their composure, Beezlebub finally looked at Anathema, her voice was solemn and ached, they faced her with a mild forlorn gaze, “Me and Gabriel are the last of our kind. Those bloody bazzztards destroyed everyone!” Beelzebub wiped away a silent tear that broke free.

A wave of great consternation and sympathy washed over her. In a way she understood the pain, given she is the last witch. But then again, she wasn’t exactly the last human, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I-”

“Thankzz but let's deal with it after,” Beezlebub gently pointed out, their voice calm and collected. They had finally broken out of their stupor and turned their gaze onto Gabriel in the near distance. Both Crowley and Aziraphale were on him like a pair of vicious dogs and the archangel was thrown to the ground. His double cross scepter skidded a few feet off to the side “It’zzz not over yet.”

She nodded as she directed her gaze in the same direction as Beezlebub, “Fair enough.” 

It didn’t need to be spoken but the two were mutually worried how bad Gabriel was going to take the news. 

Anathema took no time to produce a chakram made of energy. She handed it over to Beelzebub who infused with Hellfire. It became a sort of a demonic ring of fire. It was one of the several combo moves they had come up with during practice sessions. They needed to get either Crowley or Aziraphale attention on them. Preferably Crowley since they can’t take a risk of even a tiny wisp of it touching Gabriel.

Beezlebub had to wait a few seconds before Crowley was safely far away enough. Gabriel had gotten back up to his feet and delivered an ice filled punch to the gut. As they watched him stumble backwards, they mustered all the strength in their right arm and threw it. It successfully collided in the side of his head. The energy chakram dissipated immediately on contact but the damage was there. A noticeable bloody gash appeared on the side of his face. 

Crowley sharply turned around and focused all of his hateful, _despised _glare at them. He produced red hot flames in each of his hands as he walked towards them. Fire so hot it was blue right above his palms.

A wave of nerves wracked through her body, but her resolve remain unbroken, “We royally pissed off a God….mission accomplished,” Anathema causally commented with a twitch of anxiousness. 

“We can do thizz,” Beezlebub wouldn’t admit it now, but they felt an unusual amount of nerves at this moment. 

Once Crowley got close enough, he started to barrage them with a wave of fireballs. Anathema quickly created a rock shield in front of them just in time. She lowered it back into the ground to reveal a momentarily stunned Crowley.

Crowley let out a bemused chuckle as he faced Anathema with a scrutinized gaze, “Oh, lookie here. Aren’t you pass the natural human lifespan book girl? And you can move earth too…interesting.” He casually marveled before he drawled out, he gestured towards Beezlebub, “Make a deal with the devil did you?”

Anathema gave him a sly smile, “No. Found an old pagan spell. Immortality does wonders to achieving one’s full potential as a witch.”

Another beat of silence passed before his face contorted back to one of hate. He growled menacingly as he emitted fire once more around his fists, “Well it doesn’t matter does it! You and your friends here are only good as being obliterated!” This time the fire was even hotter than before. It was completely blue this time. He was about to throw another way when a loud sudden crash broke through the air. Crowley quickly turned around to his right and noticed Aziraphale had hit the domed building at high speed.

Out of the corner of their eyes, both Anathema and Beezlebub had witnessed Gabriel summon a flood of water from his outstretched hands. It hit Aziraphale in the chest with the full force of a truck at high speeds. They both watched as Crowley’s murderous demeanor instantaneously melt away to more of a protective nature. The change was enough to give anyone mood whiplash.

Meanwhile, Crowley stood there in silent horror. He knew as a God, crashing through a building is nothing more but a light bump on a table. But that still didn’t mean his protective nature won’t flare up. It always will when his angel was concerned.

“Aziraphale!” Crowley cried out painfully. He stared at the angel shaped impression in the building before he turned his gaze onto Gabriel. His aura changed back into murderous intent with a generous amount of revenge. He started after him, the other two forgotten for now, “Nobody and I mean _nobody _dares hurts my angel! Especially a wanker like you who’s only good as the dirt beneath me!” 

His stride increased as he let out a yell fueled by demonic rage and Gabriel quickly picked up his staff. Despite the pain and golden ichor that came down from his nose and mouth, he braced himself. He gripped it tightly with both hands, so tight his knuckles about turned white. Crowley broke into a fast walk before a full on dash right at him. 

In the heat of his protective outburst, he failed to take into account that they were right next to Adam’s prison circle. From inside, Adam tried to warn Crowley, he shouted as loud as he could. But the red head was lost in the moment. He wanted to take revenge and was determined to see it through. 

All of this combined meant he failed to deduce that there might be two more invisible circles. One for him and one for Aziraphale. Gabriel steadied himself and just when Crowley was close enough, he hurled one end of the staff and jabbed it at his side. With as much momentum Gabriel could put into his swing, he thrust Crowley to his left. Gabriel watched as he rolled right into the angelic trap with a grimace pained yelp. White light lit up and the archangel’s shoulders slumped in relief. 

Crowley, meanwhile, had quickly sat up when he realized what had happened. He put his hands on the barrier in a momentary panic, then he started laughing. He stood up as he grinned knowingly at Gabriel. The cocky laughter increased, “You made a grave mistake you winged pest!”

That caught his attention. Gabriel glared at him for a few seconds in confusion before he walked a couple steps up to the barrier. He deadpanned, “Says the one trapped.”

Crowley kept up his fit of giggles, his voice low and sharp like knives. He took his hands off the barrier and stood in the middle. He spared a glance off to the side, “Oh no, you don’t understand do you Gabriel? You’ve really done it. Oh my angel is the cleverest, more clever than you and your lot ever was!” Crowley spat with giddy laughter, “You and your little friends are _fucked!_” 

At that moment Gabriel felt an uneasy change in the air behind him. Like there was something big that loomed dangerously closer by. Crowley kept up his satisfied, arrogant laughter as he slowly turned around. The sight before him nearly discorporated him then and there. 

Aziraphale loomed over, tall as a small skyscraper with wings fully stretched out. His voice vibrated through the air, “I’m sure that you can guess what I do to those who laid a hand on my dear Crowley.”

“Oh hell,” Gabriel’s face fell with horror and shock. He couldn’t break out of his gaze for a couple of moments. Crowley taunted him from behind.

Crowley laughed in delight, “How does it feel to have your little well thought out plan fall apart?! Just like your first failed attempt all those years ago! Your little mislaid plan don’t stand a chance in the entire _universe _now!”


	4. Chapter 4

Beezlebub and Anathema were both just as shocked at the sight. Briefly frozen in place as this was unexpected in a way. They felt marginally lucky he wasn’t in full blown celestial mode. There was a sense of curiosity about why he didn’t change into his powerful form. But they realized, he has all the powers of a God. Why would he? 

As soon as the now giant angel moved towards Gabriel, Anathema broke out of the blue-screen-of-death gaze and moved into action. She made a sweep with both of her hands and the ground beneath his feet moved right out from under him. Aziraphale toppled down backwards with a deafening crash. The asphalt broke and cracked into many pieces from the force. 

Aziraphale sat up as he rubbed his head. A second later he noticed them, his cold ice blue glare locked in their direction. If the gaze could send daggers, they would be dead right now. He slowly stood up to his full height and strode over.

“Quite bothersome pests aren’t you?” His voice vibrated loud and clear as he looked down on Anathema and Beezlebub. The latter growled and opened their mouth to blow an inferno of Hellfire his way. It was such an easy move, but suddenly at the last minute Aziraphale waved his hand. They and Anathema now found their limbs and muscles frozen in place, “Must say this is befitting is it not? Nothing more but insignificant ants.”

Aziraphale only got his leg partway up in the air before Gabriel did a full body tackle. The sight of the two people he cared about the most in this grim reality in imminent danger was the catalyst to action. A surge of protectiveness and adrenaline filled every fiber of his being. He can’t stand to imagine a universe without them.

He had made a mad dash towards towards Aziraphale. Staff in one hand, he snapped his fingers at the last second. Two things happened, Anathema and Beezlebub were now unfrozen and now he matched the other angel in height. 

Gabriel propelled Aziraphale right through the top of the roof where he crashed into earlier. The archangel wasted no time in using his staff to pin Aziraphale down by the neck. Or he fully would’ve if Aziraphale hadn’t caught the golden scepter in time and resisted back. 

Gabriel’s purple eyes burned with the intensity of the red hot fire of a thousand suns, “You lay a hand on them and I’ll _fucking_ _rip_ your goddamn wings out!” 

A pause of silence passed before Aziraphale let out a wry chuckle which faded into a smug grin, “My, my...how gutsy you are to talk back to your Almighty that way.”

Gabriel growled, his face contorted in righteous anger as he leaned closer, rapidly in accordance to his emotion “I will never refer to you as the Almighty! You’re nothing more than a treasonous angel! You don’t deserve that title Aziraphale! The one who does was destroyed!”

Aziraphale feigned confusion, but his subtle knowing grin gave it away. It was clear to Gabriel that this was an attempt to rile him up, “Whatever do you mean my dear boy? How can you destroy someone who never existed in the first place? This is the only true reality.”

Gabriel grew more furious. The casual tone from the other served not to help matters. Plus just from the way Aziraphale said it, there was no doubt it hid the mind of a power crazed madman. Or celestial being rather. 

“Don’t you play dumb with me Aziraphale, I know you and Crowley remember the Old Reality. And even if this was the original one I will _never_ think about worshiping a dictatorial _prick_ like you two!”

Aziraphale let out a put upon sign, “Dear me such disrespect coming from you Gabriel, perhaps even more so than your brethren. This simply isn’t tickety boo. Hmm oh dear me, I have such a conundrum right now,” Aziraphale suddenly flipped Gabriel onto his back. He easily ripped the staff from Gabriel’s hands as he stood up. He quickly thrust the cross end at Gabriel’s throat right in front of him, “I can smite you right now dear boy...but then I would sorely miss the look on your face when I smite your little friends before you follow suit.”

Gabriel’s wings fluttered rapidly off the ground as another surge of incensed fury filled his veins. There was also the sensation of a pool of water just created at the back of his throat that begged to spew forth. It rose up too quickly before he was able to form a reply. Water filled his mouth and he felt the pressure build up.

So instead he spewed water straight up into Aziraphale’s face. It was enough for Aziraphale to lose his footing and trip over himself. The staff was thrown haphazardly to the ground in the meantime. This moment of distraction gave Gabriel a chance to roll over and get up to his feet. He spared no time in putting himself in between Aziraphale and the prison circles. At this height it would be laughable easy for him to disrupt it and thus break his cohorts free. 

Now they both faced each other, wings stretched out to their full width. They stared at each other as they waited for the other to move. Contempt dripped off of Aziraphale’s demeanor. No words were dropped and the silence lasted a scant few seconds before Gabriel summoned his staff. Aziraphale also willed his flaming sword. The moment after, they rushed at each other with weapons drawn. 

Gabriel blocked several strikes with the staff before he was able to lobbied Aziraphale on the side of his head. Gabriel felt a sort of satisfaction at that. He smiled to himself in victory but it faded away as he watched Aziraphale easily healed it. He clenched his fist and threw it towards his face but Gabriel was able to block it and punched the side of Aziraphale’s cheek. The result of this move caused his staff to fall to the ground.

Just then Beezlebub and Anathema flew up into view above Gabriel’s shoulders. The former on his left and the latter in the right. Anathema had shared some of her power with Beezlebub to lessen any risks with Hellfire. Thus both of them had a dark earthy shade of green ball of energy around their hand. 

Before Aziraphale could react, the two began to throw energy balls at him. He stumble backwards and tried to shield himself. Gabriel got his hands ready with another round of water around his hands, “Enhance my power please,” He whispered low enough so Aziraphale wouldn’t catch it.

Anathema and Beezlebub gave a small nod and landed on top of his shoulder. Both of them put their hands down and concentrated. Beelzebub had wanted to help along even if they aren’t sure how to exactly enhance with Anathema’s powers. However, the demonic version of this they knew so the method had to be about the same right? So they both closed their eyes and willed power energy into the giant archangel. There was even a little low leveled demonic influence in it.

Gabriel waited a half a second before proceeded to shoot out a violent stream of water which thrust Aziraphale a good dozen or so feet away. The angel had landed and rolled a couple of times before he slowed to a halt. Gabriel walked cautiously over to where Aziraphale had landed. The farther away he is from the circle, the less chance he’ll have to release Crowley and Adam Or worse, shove Gabriel into the demonic prison. 

Aziraphale slowly got up just as Gabriel stopped in front of him, “I suppose I have to give you what little credit there is. This foolish rebellion attempt of yours has gone long enough for my taste.”

“We will fucking tear the universe apart if that’s what’ll take to stop you!” Gabriel declared, “Humans are not meant to be your little...puppets! Neither are angels or demons!”

Aziraphale scoffed and gave off an uncanny smile, “That is too funny my dear Gabriel. The other archangels said something quite similar when they tried to rebel a second time,” He slightly chuckled as he put his hands behind his back, “You may be _interested_ to know what became of them and all of the other angels.”


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel balled his fists and just steeled himself for whatever came next. Aziraphale seemed to take a sort of delight with this with his prideful grin, “See my dear Crowley had imprisoned all of Heaven and set it on Hellfire. Likewise, I had the task of flooding all of Hell with Holy Water. Couldn’t have any more incidents now could we. All those revolts, takes away time where I could be reading or eating delicacies.”

And just like that the universe seemed to stop and splintered into a million pieces. Time slowed down as Gabriel felt the blood drain completely from his body. His mind was like a needle on a broken record. He couldn’t think straight as his mind still tried to process it. A state of great shock, he can feel himself on the brink of entering his celestial form. He only held back because he didn’t want to hurt Anathema.

She may be immortal now but she was still born a human.

Gabriel’s voice was deep, his blood boiled, “You-you’re _despicable_! How the Hell didn’t Mother catch this any sooner?”

“Simply because She wasn’t all that attentive to her Creations. You should know this as well Gabriel,” Aziraphale absentmindedly looked at his nails before back at Gabriel. An amused smirk across his face, “Or did you think She was paying close enough attention?” 

Gabriel paused, admittedly he didn’t put much thought into whether She was or not. Yes She did interact more often during the Old Testament days, but then again She was more temperamental those days. By the time the first millennium came around and was in full force, God had practically checked out.

Gabriel blinked, “I haven’t thought about it. I just did what I was expected to as an angel.”

“Exactly. It would figure that you lot put too much blind faith in Mother. Never question anything She does, do as you’re told. Never mind any reasons why She had became indifferent to everything. Don’t think too hard about it, just go along your merry way. You were all too obtuse to realize She had became too bored of everything She made,” Aziraphale explained as if he casually shared a story.

“So you and Crowley used it to your advantage...” The gears finally moved and the light clicked on.

“Precisely. We had asked ourselves ‘how can we run things better?’ and I say we did a bang up job!” Aziraphale moved his arms for emphasis.

“Our Creator would’ve not enslaved everyone!” Gabriel shouted, his brows furrowed. That part he felt like he knew for sure. He got more frustrated by the second by Aziraphale’s Godly arrogance. It grated every bit of his nerves.

Aziraphale put on a puzzled look, “Everyone? Whatever do you mean by that?”

“What in the name of the goddamn universe do you call those required daily offerings of food and drinks then?! Those fucking piety requirements you had lest they face your wrath…” Gabriel ranted, “...and all for nothing in return! For all intents and purposes, isn’t that just a kind of slavery? Just underneath the cover of religion?”

“You got it all wrong Gabriel though I suppose that is to be expected,” Aziraphale wearily sighed, as if he was about to explain the blatantly obvious for the millionth time, “Did you know that the ancient Mexica in Mexico believed in a give/take relationship with their gods? They thought for as long as they kept up their religious duties then the world would keep running smoothly.” 

“What exactly does that have to do with this sunshine?” 

“We took a bit of inspiration. Not from their ideas of offerings of course, but just the concept,” Aziraphale lectured, “Everyone gives us what we like and in exchange we give them what they want.”

Gabriel let out a disbelieving laugh, “You didn’t give jack shit of what they wanted Aziraphale!” He ranted as he jabbed a finger in front of him.

“Didn’t we let humans have their silly little TV shows?” Aziraphale pointed out in mild bewilderment, “Their silly internet and video games and whatnot? Didn’t we let the angels and demons do what they’ve been doing all their life? I would very much count that as giving what humanity wanted.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, full of sarcasm, “Sure just as long as it’s prominently in praise and/or approved by the Great Holy Trinity!”

“You juzzt wanted all of uzz to be a meanzzz to a lavish lifezztyle!” Beezlebub shouted as they stood on Gabriel’s shoulder.

Anathema added from the archangel’s other side, “You know it also gets old living with your rigid ideas of acceptable books, TV shows and whatnot. It’s nothing more than religious propaganda!”

“How else would we keep humanity placated dear girl? How do we keep the risk of anarchy and chaos to an infinitesimal risk? A theological worldwide society with structured rules was the best way to go. We’re happy, everyone else is happy and the world stays intact.”

“You know nobody but us three...” Gabriel gestured between him, Anathema and Beezlebub, “...don’t know any better since you had Adam thoroughly made everyone forget but compared to the Old Reality...everyone is living at a low-class level thanks to those _fucking_ ridiculous rules!”

Aziraphale raised his eyebrow in intrigue, “And you would know because…?” His face had brighten up with realization, a mock scandalized expression written over it, “It’s as if you lived among the very same humanity you used to not waste a second thought about Gabriel,” Aziraphale hummed thoughtfully as he clasped his hands behind his back, “Now it’s my turn to ask because I’m still so very curious...how did you all manage to fake your deaths and evade our nose for all these years?”

Gabriel took in a deep breath than exhaled a second later, “A combination of timing and supernatural powers. We’ve also all assumed another identity, I was um,” He softly cleared his throat. He was embarrassed about the lack of thought compared to Anathema and Beezlebub when he picked his alias. He just merely picked the name randomly on the back of a Walk the Line DVD cover. He didn’t want to admit it, especially to someone with a superiority complex and Godly powers like Aziraphale, “...June Cash.”

Before Aziraphale could comment, Anathema interjected as she steadily stood, “I was Elena Iglesias. You know those delicious baked goods I was well known for? That was me,” She smiled. Like Gabriel she didn’t want to reveal the truth, that is, she used a spell to enrich its taste. 

“I wazzz Maxwell Jennings,” Was all Beezlebub had said to add in to the replies. Nothing more, nothing less.

A tense couple of seconds passed as Aziraphale analyzed the information, “I suppose that was clever,” Suddenly with no warning, the celestial God shot out a hand and instantly brought Gabriel down to his knees along with an outburst of sharp pain. 

The abrupt movement also caused both Anathema and Beezlebub to slip forward. The latter Gabriel quickly caught in one of his hands while the latter clung to his shirt for dear life. Unfortunately they weren’t left out of the same painful experience the archangel felt.

Gabriel had cried out in anguish as he felt a strong force overcome him. His body involuntarily moved while he felt the sensation of being stabbed by a million little invisible knives simultaneously. It felt like every inch, every molecule of his insides were being excruciatingly torn apart. He closed his eyes as he tried his damn hardest to not give Aziraphale the satisfaction of any weakness. 

The sharp fiery pain appeared to increase as each seconds past. It felt like he was about to be disintegrated any second now and he hadn’t due to his angelic will and resolve. His head throbbed and every bone and muscle twisted agony, wave after wave. He can’t tell if bloody wounds actually broke out of his skin or if it was all in his head. He didn’t feel any wetness anywhere but the lightheadedness was there. It took his full energy not to give in and fall down completely. To do so would give the favor to Aziraphale.

In spite of all of this, he was determined to not let the psychic hold overcome him. He kept his head down and concentrated. If Aziraphale had started his soliloquy then he didn’t hear it. He tuned out his surroundings to focus mentally. He had to do it quickly though, he caught the words “actual”, “disintegrate” and “loved ones”. It just made his tenacity to protect Anathema and Beezlebub all the more stronger. 

From deep down, he felt the Celestial power that started to rise. It might as well have been a lifetime ago since he last was in his Heavenly form. What was the last time he used it? Biblical times? At any rate the last time he remembered was when he announced to Mary about Jesus. Admittedly a part of him wasn’t sure if his full power would be enough but he had to try every trick in his arsenal. He will not let this New Reality be ruled eternally by hedonistic tyrannical Gods. 

That settled it. 


	6. Chapter 6

He first mentally told the other two what he was about to do. He conjured up a blindfold on Anathema to eliminate any chance of going mad from his holy light. Granted, neither of them knew if whether or not her witch status would allow her to see a celestial form just fine, but better safe than sorry really. He knew Anathema could still “see” with her mind's eye via the ground so he wasn’t worried about anything else. Then, he teleported the two to a safe distance between him and the circles.

He relaxed and proceeded to let his more powerful form take over. A scant of a second passed before the transfer of who controlled who flipped. Gabriel now stood at full height, clothed in a flowing, golden accentuated white robe, topped with an elaborate halo disk. There was a prominent vertical royal purple eye in the middle of his forehead with two in between that and the original pair. There was also an eye in the palm of his hands. 

Just behind the back of his head was another pair of wings. Of which all four pairs were displayed proudly and awe inspiring at their full length. And his body was surrounded by the most golden holy light an archangel could have. 

His arms outstretched in front of him towards a genuinely flummox Aziraphale. Gabriel watched him tried to struggle out of the hold he exerted in vain. Gabriel couldn’t help but put on a cryptic smirk, “You know it’s a shame my siblings didn’t realize their full potentials any sooner. The second revolt would’ve been successful.”

No way in all the planes of existence will he reveal to him that he had reached the pinnacle of his power over water. That is, he can control blood. Or rather any liquid in any living being, but blood controlling was the best way he can describe it. And something he felt it would be best used as a last resort.

“I highly doubt that Gabriel. We’ve taken measures to ensure a happy medium between us and the other forces of Heaven and Hell. Clearly that didn’t pan out too well in the end,” Aziraphale replied in a haughty tone. 

Gabriel walked behind Aziraphale, “Letting us retain our memories of the old world isn’t panning out too well either is it, O Lord Aziraphale?” He dryly quipped as he swiftly waved his hands towards in front of him. The motion caused Aziraphale’s arms to abruptly constrict together crossed behind his back. There was a startled strained yelp to be had from him.

“What in Heavens are you doing to me?! I order you to unhand me this instant!” Aziraphale demanded authoritatively.

“Not a chance sweetheart, I rather live eternity as the last of my kind then being your little work-monkey,” Gabriel snarked.

“Isn’t that what you were ultimately created for in the first place? To follow whatever orders the original Almighty gave.” Aziraphale simply asked. 

Gabriel narrowed his eyes and he let out a low, deep growl. It was filled with emotion as he thought about Michael, Uriel, Raphael and even Sandalphon. Tears formed behind his eyes at the painful memories and what befell them.

“Just shut up! Shut up!” He demanded through gritted teeth. He forced the other to stand rigid and straight forward. His voice raw with emotion, “She wouldn’t callously destroyed any of her Children! And I know She would’ve been very _fucking_ disappointed if She knew about this!” A half a minute passed before Gabriel leaned closer to Aziraphale’s ear, “I’m sure you already figured out there is a prison circle made especially for you.”

“Indeed I have, it couldn't have been any more obvious!” There a note of panic terror which faded into resignation, “You do realize you are going to leave humanity woefully directionless do you? If you destroy us, there will be no Godly figure Gabriel. Oh dear, how will the world even manage?!” Aziraphale asked distraught.

“I think we’ll manage,” Gabriel confidently said as he got his fingers ready to snap, “And by the way we aren’t going to destroy you three, we’ve got something else in mind,” He stated as he snapped.

Aziraphale disappeared and reappeared in the demonic prison circle. A red light shone through the sky and he felt a sense of relief surge through his body. He started to walk closer, along the way he picked up his staff.

Deep down a good part of him wasn’t sure what to expect exactly in a post-God universe, for all of his existence he lived in a world where there a Creator. Someone that was running the computer program that was the Universe. Someone who programmed him to run certain processes for a specific task. A world without one was unprecedented, but he’ll rather have this then have the universe run down further into metaphorical Hell. He’d sure humanity and both Heaven and Hell of old would agree with him.

Anathema and Beezlebub levitated just behind Gabriel’s shoulders as he stopped right in front of all three lit circles. He laid out the sentence, “Demon Crowley, Principality Aziraphale and Adam, for betraying Heaven, Hell, and Humanity, you are hereby sentenced to mortality and imprisonment in Purgatory!” 

He lifted up his hand palm out, holy light emitted and sigils and runes that surrounded the barriers activated. Aziraphale, Adam and Crowley suddenly fell to the ground as they yelled as they felt their God like powers stripped away. Next was their immortality and a moment later it was all finished. The lights and the signs faded away into nothingness.

The world was finally free from the iron grip of religious slavery. 

The caveat was that there is no God, no Creator to oversee things. Just the last angel and demon in existence alongside an immortal witch. But humanity was resilient, wasn't it? That was one of the things he observed. Well to be frank, he’ll freely admit to himself that Anathema helped him in that department. Even back in the Old World, God’s indifference to Her creations and a more modern era had led to an increased number of atheists and agnostics. 


	7. Chapter 7

Anathema huddled her arms together, this place felt cold and eerily quiet. Too much than what her younger self would’ve guessed if you asked her. Her witch sense had flared up enough the moment all three got off the escalator. A great loss had happened here long ago. Despite it’s status, it didn’t look the part, the walls and floors were still white and sterile. As if a vast office building had just been deserted the day before. 

“It like I can almost _hear_ the bustle of office workers behind computers and people talking,” She commented as she looked around. There were doors to various offices with a few storage rooms along the wall of the main hallway. The other thing unlike an abandoned place on Earth was the lack of graffiti.

Which was probably a good thing.

“There aren’t any computerzzz in Heaven or Hell,” Beezlebub gently informed, the two were near the suspended globe in the middle of the room. It leisurely turned as if it didn’t get the memo that nobody was there anymore to use it as transportation.

Gabriel leaned up against the wall not to far off. The two can tell this whole thing had hit him the hardest. To be the last of their kind wasn’t something he, or Beezlebub for that matter, had ever anticipated. It made sense, Heaven was his home for all of his life, the only place he’d really known before this shit all happened. Same for the former Prince and Hell. 

In relative comparison to Gabriel, Beezlebub seemed to compartmentalized everything quicker. Yes, they felt a heavy heart, a great sadness arose from the stark fact that they will never see or talk to their trusted right hand men ever again. On the other hand, it is what it is. What good would it do them and everyone else if they let grief overtake them for all eternity. Hastur and Dagon would probably tease them if they acted overly sentimental.

That all being said, there were silent trails of tears that ran down their cheeks. It didn’t last too long before they wiped them clean. They weren’t afraid to break down the emotional barrier enough to let their sadness manifest as long as they were alone. Or somewhere secluded with Anathema and Gabriel.

(Copious amounts of alcohol the previous two days also helped).

“This is going to sound strange but…” Anathema began, her voice pensive as she gazed around the never ending main room, “...this place is giving me similar vibes as a deserted, vacant theme park. I went to one once...back in the previous reality...” Her gaze glanced over at Gabriel who was lost in his world before at a random spot out the window.

Beezlebub wiped off their tears as they faced her. They didn’t say anything, merely gave an attentive encouraged look for her to continue.

“...obviously this place isn’t as open as a theme park but..it..it was so hauntingly empty. It felt _wrong_ for a place that specializes in joy and fun for the whole family to be so...so desolate and dead,” Her voice was melancholic. The reality of an empty Heaven went against what she vividly remembered being taught as a kid, “...just like it feels so _wrong_ that this place is...abandoned,”

“I get the sentiment. Take that and multiply that tenfold for an ethereal being,” Gabriel’s voice caught the attention of the other two. He had casually strode up, his purple eyes dulled by a forlorn gaze. His face taut with sadness and misery, “The amount of Love and Grace any one angel can feel here is, or was, proportional to the amount of angels. Take a few hundred or thousands out and you won’t feel any difference. Take a million out, you’ll start to feel something off…like the sensation gotten dimmer and there’s a noticeable bit of angelic Love missing...” 

Gabriel voiced faded out as it hitched and he choked out a silent sob, it was still hard for him to voice it. Beezlebub finished for him, “Take all of them out and it’zzz all but non-exizztent.”

A deep breath later and Gabriel bitten into his fist to hold back another influx of tears. Anathema slowly to encircle her arms around him. She rested her head against his chest as Gabriel faintly spoke, “I can still feel it, barely but it’s there.” 

“Just very faint? I imagine that would be the zzame for Hell azz well only with demonic corruption and hate,” Beezlebub mentioned as a moment of silence filled the air, “Probably zztill filled with Holy Water....fucking prickzz!” They spat out bitterly as they clench their fists for a second before they relaxed. They were glad the bastards responsible were now safely imprisoned. 

There was still a sense of palpable grief in the air. A solemn affair as the three fell silent. Eventually Gabriel held both Anathema and Beezlebub close in his arms. Nobody said anything, just a simple loving kiss on the top of their head courtesy of the last archangel.

There was also the unspoken question of ‘what do we do now?’. Neither one of them really wanted to voice it for the time being. None of them had any concrete answers anyways. And nobody to turn to for any instructions on what to do with a Godless universe.

__________________________

Well there was one last thing they settle on before this whole mess was hopefully put to bed for good. That is telling humanity what happened and that they don’t have to worry about all the dumb piety requirements anymore. It would be a considerate thing to do, and sooner rather than later. Admittedly there was an urge to procrastinate among the trio. It was one of those things that they knew they had to deal with but didn’t particularly want to at that precise moment.

Can’t they just go back home and drink their sorrows away for another night? Get plastered ten ways to next year and get their minds on other things. On the other hand, the sooner they get this important detail done, the sooner they can do just that.

So thus when they could be, in theory, at home, the three were in Gabriel’s old office. He just finished the first draft and handed the paper it to Anathema for a look over. She gazed at it with the intensity of an English teacher for a good half a minute. 

“Hello Fellow Humans is too…robotic Gabe,” Anathema gently reviewed as she handed the paper back down in front of him, “The rest is fine but there’s nothing wrong with making it sound less...official if that makes sense.” 

Beezlebub sat cross legged on top of his desk, “I can imagine how the Annunciation went with your level of human knowledge,” They teased. Anathema couldn’t help but let out a casual giggle.

Gabriel casually rolled his eyes at Beezlebub, “Hardy har, I got the job done didn’t I?”

“How did that really go out of curiosity? Anathema asked and Gabriel’s eyes were on her. It was obviously she had a mental image of Gabriel, being the completely socially awkward partner she knew, telling Mary about the baby Jesus.

Gabriel awkwardly cleared his throat and lightly stammered, “Well I just...I just told her what God told me to say. Word for word.”

Beezlebub turned to Anathema and helpfully let the truth out, “He never did well when he’zz not following a zzcript. Mary azzked him how could zzhe have the baby if zhe was a virgin. You can imagine how that went.”

A brief moment and Anathema burst into light laughter while Gabriel blushed a bright shade of red and became playfully defensive, “In my defense nobody told me that question may get asked. I wasn’t prepared.”

“You also didn’t know what a virgin wazzz,” Beezlebub added matter of factly. Gabriel blushed in awkwardness again while Anathema let out another round of light laughter..

He sighed without any real annoyance, “Well luckily no one getting pregnant this time,” He looked back down at the paper. After a once over, he set the paper down and faced the other two. He sounded understandably nervous and unsure of things, “This is the first time I’m sending a Divine Message that didn’t come down from the Almighty.”

“You’re doing just fine. Would it help to pretend that it did?” Anathema suggested as she stood in front of the desk. A brief moment of intrigue passed, “Not what God would’ve said exactly but more like…” She paused in thought as she moved her hands around casually, “...you were decreed to send a message in your own words that they don’t have to follow Aziraphale and Crowley’s stupid rules anymore.”

“I would also suggezzt honezzty,” Beezlebub interjected and Anathema nodded as she looked from them to Gabriel.

“That’ll be good too but you don’t have to be too honest. I doubt people will readily believe there was an Old Reality,” Anathema finished.

Gabriel nodded, grateful for the tips. He took another look before he snapped. He figured there was no point to be worried about using miracles frivolously anymore. The words rearranged themselves and he was satisfied. Beezlebub took the paper to give it a quick read before they handed it to Anathema. It was helpful to say the least to have two extra eyes for something like this.

“Perfect.” Anathema smiled warmly as she handed the paper over to Gabriel. He smiled in response as he stood up and they made their way back out to the globe. Which still turned without a care in the universe.

Gabriel took a moment to ready himself, the heavenly paper gripped lightly in his hands. This was probably the last thing he’ll do in Heaven for a good long while, if ever. A deep breath later, he waved and both the letter started to glow a golden color. It disintegrated into millions of tiny pieces that flew to all of the continents of the world. Said pieces would manifest as a copy of what he’d wrote to every follower and secret non-follower out there. 

It was only then did they truly wondered what now in the grand scheme of things.


	8. Chapter 8

“...you do sound like him!” Anathema cracked up as she lightly protested. She and Gabriel were in the middle of a good nature conversation as they sat in front of radio equipment. Contrary to what they all were afraid of, it really hadn’t taken relatively too long to find a new purpose. Thus Gabriel and Anathema had a part time job of co-hosting a radio show, “I swear there’s still that...part of me that gets a little taken aback if I don’t pay attention.”

“Even after the 20th time you watch that Christmas episode of Black Mirror?” Gabriel questioned in a mock incredulously tone. It quickly faded into a casual laugh. The current conversation had started when they began their questions and answer segment. One of them was from a fan who commented on how uncanny Gabriel’s voice sounded like the actor Jon Hamm. Anathema had backed up the opinion while Gabriel disagreed.

Anathema blushed and nodded even though the listeners can’t see it, “The voice is just that similar hon.” The banter they do was well liked by fans. However, part of the popularity of their show had over the past three centuries may or may have not been contributed by Beezlebub’s demonic influence.

“I don’t really hear the semblance Ana, my voice is deeper and before you comment on it, I do not look like the actor fucking Jon Hamm.”

Anathema softly chuckled as she pinched two fingers together, “A little bit, but you’re more attractive mi amor,” She affectionately assured him before she grabbed another card. The happy go lucky vibe faded away to a calm level as she skimmed through.

“Ok our last question is from Matt in Texas. He says ‘my family has always believed in the Old Three Gods but I’ve been a skeptic since starting high school a couple years ago. I’ve done my research on what life was like back then and it ain’t really full of sunshine. How do I tell my stubborn folks this?” Anathema finished and there was just the slightest awkwardness in the air. 

Not that it wasn’t a question they didn’t want to answer, just more unsure of how to answer it. It was a question that would require some level of pensiveness. Plus she would have to put it in more vague terms, the majority of the world still don’t know the actual truth. By now, the whole battle and everything was thought to be nothing more than a story to believe in. The beginning of a new era of prosperity and religious freedom to many followers. 

Anathema didn’t want to take too long since they were on the air. Her mind, however, annoyingly did not get the memo to find the right wording fast enough. Gratefully, Gabriel picked it up before the silence became awkward.

“Well, uhh, first we want to preface this with we think it's not anyone’s department to tell people what to believe or what not to. You can’t force someone to believe a certain way.”

“That was the problem back then,” Anathema interjected as she turned to her mic from Gabriel. Some of the memories spring back to life and it was enough to formulate a response other than awkward noises, “Everyone was forced to believe a certain way, no ifs, ands or buts. No room for other beliefs systems. That said, if your parents are open minded enough, you can certainly share what you think. Friendly, of course, you don’t want to be preachy.”

“That sounds right, yes,” Gabriel nodded, “I would add that there really is no harm with your parents or anyone else believing in the Old Three Gods...” He was sincere, but he may or may not mentally groaned in annoyance given that it all had been starkly real (he did), “...just like there’s no harm in believing something different. Or nothing for that matter. Me and my partners follow the rule ‘you do your thing, I’ll do mine’.” 

“Basically not our department as Gabe would put it,” Anathema chuckled softly which trailed off into a casual, warm smile.”

“Exactly,” Gabriel pointed to Anathema out of second nature with a laugh,” Well we’re out of time sadly but we’ll be back next week with a new show and more questions.”

“As always, feel free to send in anything you want,” Anathema added before Gabriel turned off the equipment. Once they were off-air, they stood up to leave. Anathema looked at Gabriel with a slight trepidation for a second as she opened her mouth. She was aware of people who still followed the Old Three Gods, “That was an interesting question.”

“Yeah...nothing like being reminded that people still follow the ones that killed everyone I knew up there,” There was a subtle hint of resentment in his voice as he gestured towards the ceiling.

Anathema put on her light jacket before she took his hand into hers, “Nobody knows any better but us Gabe,” She can understand why he still sounded bitter. She had a warm, empathetic smile, “I’m sure they aren’t coming out anytime soon with how we set it up.”

Gabriel took a moment than exhaled slowly. He gave Anathema a smile that seemed to accentuate his lovely purple eyes,“I know, and I can’t think of anyway they could this point,” Gabriel added softly, more to assure himself.

“And if they somehow do then we’ll kick their asses once more,” Anathema smiled with conviction. She proceeded to give a kiss on Gabriel’s lips before she headed over to the door, “So are we supposed to meet Beez at the Ritz in 30 minutes or an hour?”

Gabriel grabbed his jacket and slipped it on,“Hmm, I think an hour,” He held the door open for Anathema and followed her out.


End file.
